Monday, September 05, 2005

New Land Discovered

Yes, believe it or not, I am an explorer. And with the help of my partner in crime, Jen, we have discovered a new land. We've come to call it.."No Man's Land". Yes indeed, we have discovered a land with no men! And we're keeping it that way. No Men Allowed. The only exceptions are, Robbie Williams, our own pizza delivery guy, and The Rock, who is combination houseboy/milkman. Ladies, you're all welcome to join us. You will be welcomed on arrival with a chilled glass of champagne, and be informed that you don't have to do anything that men want you to do. Yes, ladies, no shaving the bits if you do not wish. You can wear your daggiest house clothes. You don't have to wear makeup or do your hair. You can eat whatever you want, without anyone looking at you the wrong way. No housework is required. No ironing shirts. No bratty kids to contend with. If you're a bad cook, we don't care. You can watch girly movies to your hearts content. Steel Magnolias, The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood, Desperate Housewives, all on TV 24 hours a day. No Playboy or Ralph magazines to be seen laying around in the lavatory. No unsightly hairs left in the sink or down the shower plughole. Anytime you want to talk, we're here to listen. We won't feign interest. We won't snub your problems because we have to fix our cars. You will hear NO mention of football, tennis, golf, basketball, baseball, soccer, cricket, or any sport. You can stroll along the beach with someone who will actually appreciate it. So Ladies, enjoy your stay at No Man's Land. We certainly will.

1 comment:

nenni said...

Ladies, it is a heaven! No moaning about having dinner ready for someone coming home, total control of the TV remote, no male ego movies, no time limit for getting ready to go out...anything negative about males, anything that drives you mad about'll suffer no more!