Saturday, November 21, 2009

21st November 09 Day 15

Today was a pretty good day. The head hunger seems to have disappeared. I ate pretty well, the chicken stew was great. Yesterday was a complete fuck up. I ended up eating all of the fish cake mush, about 1 cup full in total. I paid for it afterwards. I was in agony. I felt worse than if I'd eaten more than I usually do when we go to Sizzler. I know I shouldn't have done it, but that's what I was like before the band. I'd eat and suffer the consequences later. Can't do that anymore! I'm looking at it as a positive thing. It just goes to show that I have no choice, I have to change my eating habits or else.

The antibiotics have kicked in. Talk about windy around here! I keep blaming the poor dog. I swear though, prune juice DOES NOT WORK!!! I've been having 1/2 a glass a day and the only way I've been able to "drop a few friends off at the pool" is to take doses of Dad's Actilax.

I know I'll probably say this many times in the future, so here goes the first. Even though I've had to endure a very sore bottom, an infection in the wound, 2 weeks of runny food then 2 weeks of baby food, unbearable back pain, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. In only 2 weeks I'm feeling better than I have in forever. Sometimes I still can't believe I've actually taken that huge step to have the banding done. Me, the ultimate lazybones!

Well, I'm off for my last "meal" of the day. A gorgeous white hot chocolate (99% fat free!!) YUM. Nighty night!!

20th November 09 Day 14

Weigh-In. Last week 94,5kg. This week 93.5kg. Loss 1kg

Well, I'm finally on the "mushies" stage. It's not too bad, I made some fish cakes last night, mushied it up with some gravy, it was delicious. Made a nice chicken and barley stew in the slow cooker today, I'll blitz it nice and smooth. I've got enough food for a few days at least. I miss the Sustagen for breakfast, that stuff was lovely. Half a weetbix just doesn't cut it. I'm finding it hard dealing with the "head hunger". I seem to want to eat all the time. I count down the minutes until I can eat again. I'm being strong though, as much as I could sneak in spoons of food between meals, I'm not. I'm behaving myself and not succumbing to temptation. It's not easy though.

My port wound is still infected. Went to see the GP again today, he took a swab of the gooey bit and sent it off for analysis. So I'm back on antibiotics and the wound is packed and dressed. I go back on Monday to see the nurse and have the dressing changed. I know it's because of the diabetes that the wound is taking so long to heal. I just hope it heals enough so I can have my band filled and I can get over this hungry phase.

The back pain is nearly totally gone, thank fuck. It still hurts sometimes but I think it's because I've been unable to sleep on my stomach.

I suppose 1kg is a better loss than nothing. I realise that some people put weight on during the mushies stage. So I'm preparing myself for that. I'm not too worried, once I get a fill I should start dropping weight again.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Originally written on 13th November 2009

Weigh-in. 94.5kg. Loss - 5.5kg

Friday the 13th! It's been a week since my op. I'm doing a lot better now than I have been. Saturday was fine, I spent most of the day resting but I kept getting up to walk around a bit. Mainly to stop the DVT but also to get rid of the gas from the op. The rest of the week has gone so quickly. I'm actually coping really well with the liquid diet. I found some really nice recipes on the banding forum Jo showed me a while ago. I've been having pureed baked beans mixed with tomato soup. Delicious! I put a bit of paprika, chilli powder and curry powder in it too, it ends up tasting like mexican salsa. I made a cauliflower, broccoli and brie soup last night too. It was okay, not as nice as the beans though. So this is my daily menu (roughly).
Meal 1. 175ml Sustagen hospital formula
Meal 2. Petit Miam made thin with milk OR pureed fruit with apple juice
Meal 3. Soup
Meal 4. Depends if I feel hungry, if I do I'll have some V-8 juice
Meal 5. Soup or egg-flip
Meal 6. Jarrah Choc-O-Lait (before bed)
Plus I'm trying to get as much water/diet cordial in as I can but sometimes it's hard to get a litre a day in. Oh well, I guess it'll improve as time goes by. I can't wait for the "mushies" fortnight, mashed potato and gravy here I come!

I'm not really missing any foods except pasta. I made Dad spinach pie on Tuesday. I could have quite happily murdered for a slice. I just had to keep reminding myself this liquid stage won't last long and I'll be able to eat relatively normally soon, albeit not all the fattening stuff I was eating before. At the moment they're not too worried about what I eat, as long as it can be pureed and thinned down enough so it can be eaten through a straw. Not that I actually eat it through a straw! But I'm not being silly about it. I'm getting in a fair bit of protein and only a small amount of fats and sugars. So I think I'm doing quite well, all things considered.

I'm still in a fair amount of pain in my back. Hot packs and morphine relieve it some of the time. It feels like something is stuck in there. Like I've swallowed a brick and it's stuck in the pipes. If it doesn't get better by Tuesday or Wednesday I'll ring Dr D and see what he says. The abdominal pain is nearly totally gone, so I can finally sleep on my left side. The only thing is, I've got a low grade infection in one of the cuts. Not to worry though, I went to the GP today and he's put me on antibiotics (liquid, yay!) and I'm putting Betadine ointment on 4 times a day. My stomach still resembles a Canadian sunset though. I've never seen so many different shades of bruising!

Well, I think it's time for another hot pack and a white hot choc. I really can't be arsed doing anything tonight so I think I'll just veg in front of the idiot box. HP-Goblet of Fire is on, or maybe I'll shove on a MH disc. Ciao!

Originally written on 7th November 2009

It's 7am, the morning after my surgery. I feel good, except for the pain between my shoulder blades apparently caused by "gas" (not farts!!!) and being really thirsty! Can't even have the tiniest sip of water until the x-rays come back with the all clear. Hopefully that won't be too long. The nurses are aiming for a 12-1pm discharge but they get so busy, bless 'em. It might be later than that.

My surgeon was great. He really put me at ease. Not bad looking, either! Haha! I felt sorry for the poor girls in recovery though, I'm not very nice when I come off the anaesthetic. I did apologise profusely though. Afterwards, thinking about it, I reminded myself acting the way Dad was when he was so sick in April. I guess I am his daughter after all!

I had to have one of those thingys on my finger to test my oxygen levels, not to mention the nasal prongs. At least they're better than the mask! I'm on a saline drip, that'll probably last until I go for the x-rays. Same with the TEDS stockings and the inflatable leg pump thingys that are supposed to stop blood clots. They're not so bad. Feels like a leg massage. I wish I could rip the plasters off and have a bloody good scratch!

The day nurse just came in. She'll change the dressings then take out the drip so I can have a shower. Woohoo! Things are starting to roll!

I've got two room mates. One is a British lady who seems nice but the poor thing can't seem to handle her medications. She's been sleeping a lot, I think they're giving her calmatives. The other lady is probably all of 18, she's sweet but she doesn't look like she needs the band. She's about half my size! Oh well, I don't know her or her situation so I can't comment or judge her.

God, Saturday morning TV sucks!

Gotta go, nursey's here. BBL!!!

Originally written on 24th October 2009

It's 3 days into my 2 weeks of Optifast. 12 days until my operation. I can't believe how quick the time has passed. I'm finding it easy during the day on the shakes, but after dinner is proving to be extremely difficult. I seem to be hungrier after dinner for some reason. It's probably not actually hunger, more like boredom, habit as well. I'd take Sandra's advice and sleep, but Dexter's on at 11pm and I can't miss that. So instead I'm watching Iron Chef. Glutton for punishment? Probably.

Today Dad wanted Red Rooster for lunch. Driving home with the smell of hot chicken and chips in the car nearly sent me insane. How am I gonna handle that? I'm hoping and praying that one day that smell revolts me as much as cigarette smoke does now that I've given up. I'm not as bad as I used to be with takeaway, I used to be really bad with stuff like KFC, but now I prefer to have a Subway. I just tend to eat too much. On the night before I started the Optifast, I made gnocchi for dinner and used pork belly in the sugo. My favourite. But as usual I ate too much. Way too much. It was bloody lovely though, I felt really full after, overfull actually. I don't get that feeling on the Optifast, which is probably a good thing. Apart from when my stomach starts growling. I hope it prepares me for when I have to go on the liquid diet.

I had a stupid thought last night. I was thinking about Christmas, specifically Christmas lunch at Sandra's. I know she'll put on a brilliant spread and I'm not going to be able to enjoy it. Especially my stuffing meatballs. My stupid thought was to ask the doc to postpone my op until after January. Just so I could pig out on Christmas day, and my birthday. But then I thought, that's one of my problems isn't it? Putting things off until later. So yep, I'll still enjoy Christmas, just with smaller portions.

Oh yeah, I forgot the most important thing. Weigh-in. 100kg exactly. I'm hoping to lose at least 30kg and if I get to that, I'll try for 40kg. I don't mind if it takes a year for me to get there. My goal is to be at least a size 12 for my 40th birthday. But I'm not going to overdo it. I'll keep things in perspective.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Just a test

I need to kick myself up the arse and make sure to put things I promise to the top of the list.

Hopefully the label for Luna's diary has worked and moved it to the top of the label list. Makes it's easier for those posts to be found.