Monday, April 30, 2007

Couple of jokes

Just a couple of jokes for you all.

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "£5,000 for a male brain, and £200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask

"Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group,
"It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the
female brains, because they've actually been used."

_____________________________________________________________________

I pulled an older woman at a club last night.

She was a right sort for 57, we drank a bit, had a bit of a snog and she asked if I'd ever had the sportsman's double, a mother and daughter 3 some? I said no.

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.

I went back to her place. She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs: "Mum you still awake?"

Monday, April 23, 2007

PCOS - Polycystic ovarian syndrome

I want to take this time to highlight something that is close to my heart, and that's PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome). I've posted about it before because I was going through some tests to see if my problems were caused by PCOS. My next doctors appointment will most likely have the outcome for being told I 100% have PCOS. I'm making this post so that other women might recognise some of the symptoms and then seek help and tests. So here goes. Please read carefully and if anything in this post rings true to you, then please seek help from the doctor.

Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), also known by the name Stein-Leventhal syndrome, is a hormonal problem that causes women to have a variety of symptoms. Some of the symptoms include:

* absent or infrequent periods (oligomenorrhoea): a common symptom of PCOS. Periods can be as frequent as every five to six weeks, but might only occur once or twice a year, if at all.

* increased facial and body hair (hirsutism): usually found under the chin, on the upper lip, forearms, lower legs and on the abdomen (usually a vertical line of hair up to the umbilicus).

* acne: usually found only on the face.

* infertility: infrequent or absent periods are linked with very occasional ovulation, which significantly reduces the likelihood of conceiving.

* overweight/obesity: a common finding in women with PCOS because their body cells are resistant to the sugar-control hormone insulin. This insulin resistance prevents cells using sugar in the blood normally and the sugar is stored as fat instead.

* miscarriage (sometimes recurrent): one of the hormonal abnormalities in PCOS, a raised level of luteinising hormone (LH - a hormone produced by the brain that affects ovary function), seems to be linked with miscarriage. Women with raised LH have a higher miscarriage rate (65 per cent of pregnancies end in miscarriage) compared with those who have normal LH values (around 12 per cent miscarriage rate).

Any of the above symptoms and signs may be absent with the exception of irregular or no periods. All women with PCOS will have irregular or no menses. Women who have PCOS do not regularly ovulate; that is, they do not release an egg every month. This is why they do not have regular periods. No one is quite sure what causes PCOS. However, the ovaries of women with PCOS frequently contain a number of small cysts, hence the name poly (many) cystic ovarian syndrome. A similar number of cysts may occur in women without PCOS. Therefore, the cysts themselves do not seem to be the cause of the problem. A malfunction of the body's blood sugar control system (insulin system) is frequent in women with PCOS. The result is an inadequate response to insulin (insulin resistance) that can lead to abnormally elevated blood sugar (glucose) levels. The insuliin disturbance is thought to also be the trigger for the development of symptoms such as acne and excess hair growth that is seen with PCOS.

The diagnosis is based on the patient's symptoms and physical appearance. If the diagnosis seems likely because the patient's history contains many of the symptoms described already, certain investigations are done to provide confirmatory evidence or to indicate another cause for the symptoms. These include:
* Blood tests such as
- Female Sex Hormones (at a certain point in the cycle if possible)
- Male Sex Hormones
- Glucose
- Thyroid Function Tests
- Other Hormones, eg Prolactin
* Ultrasound Examination

Your own GP can do the initial blood investigations, ensuring they are carried out at the correct time of the cycle if appropriate. Your GP may be able to arrange an ultrasound scan. Once the diagnosis is made, nothing more needs to be done for some women, eg if their fertility is not an issue, if their weight is within normal limits, and if they do not have excess body hair. If any of the symptoms are an issue, then further advice and treatment, and possibly specialist referral is needed.

PCOS often comes to light during puberty due to period problems, which affects around 75% of those with the disease. Infrequent, irregular or absent periods are all common variations, many finding their periods particularly heavy when they do arrive. The period disturbance is a sign that there is a problem with regular monthly ovulation. So just why do your periods go out of whack when you suffer from PCOS? The main culprit is hormonal imbalance

If you recognise two or more of these symptoms in yourself, make an appointment with your health care provider to investigate whether you may have PCOS. While a cure for PCOS has yet to be found, effective treatment for these symptoms is available.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Virginia Tech Shootings

Cho Seung-hui, the student who killed 33 people; including himself, on Monday sent a package to the US TV network NBC News on the day of the shootings. The package contained "disturbing" photographs, video and writings, NBC said, apparently sent between the two rounds of killings.

Two people were killed at the West Ambler Johnston Hall, a university dormitory, at 0715 on Monday. Two hours later Cho killed 30 others, plus himself, at the Norris Hall complex across campus. Authorities have not yet linked the 23-year-old to any of those he killed. Cho was admitted to a mental health unit in late 2005. He was sent for evaluation after two female students made complaints against him. You can read the full story here. You'll also find links to key stories about the shooting on this page.

80's Movie clips

Yes, people. It's back. The clips of movies we all know/love/need to watch from the 80's. Today's clip is of the uber famous John Hughes' The Breakfast Club from 1985. If you havent heard or seen this movie then where the hell have you been?!

Starring Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald and Ally Sheedy the movie is about 5 kids who are thrown together by Saturday morning detention. Each begins to see the others apart from their stereotypes. Andrew, the jock; Brian, the geek; John, the wastoid; Claire, the popular Prom Queen; and Allison, the psycho girl; each finds qualities about the others that make the Saturday morning change their lives. An excellent watch and must have for any movie collection. I've picked a clip of the famous dance scene in the library. One which has been copied by near enough everyone at some point in their lives or career. Enjoy the clip and may it bring back memories.

There's links at the bottom to the past clips I've posted so far of 80's movies.



Monster Squad
Pump Up The Volume
Beetlejuice
Adventures in Babysitting
Spaceballs

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Feel

I wanted to post lyrics for a song sung by Robbie Williams. It pretty much sums up my last few days and how I've been feeling..

Feel

Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I´ve been given
I sit and talk to God
And he just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I don´t understand

I just want to feel real love
Fill the home that I live in
Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste

I don´t want to die
But I ain´t keen on living either
Before I fall in love
I´m preparing to leave her
I scare myself to death
That´s why I keep on running
Before I´ve arrived
I can see myself coming

I just want to feel real love
Fill the home that I live in
Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
And I need to feel real love
And a life ever after
I cannot get enough

I just want to feel real love
Fill the home that I live in
I got too much love
Running through my veins
To go to waste
I just wanna feel real love
In a life ever after
There´s a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It´s a real big place

Come and hold my hand
I want to contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I´ve been given
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Missing shopping

Isnt it annoying when you get home from food shopping and realise that one thing you really needed, one thing that would keep you from going insane, the one thing that would stop you being bitten to death isnt in your shopping bag? No? Only me then?

The one thing that would keep me alive is biscuits for my cat pyper. If she doesnt have her biscuits, then my life isnt worth living till she does. I'm not kidding either. She can be evil, and she wont settle for any other biscuits other than Whiskas Temptations Beef flavour.

Now you may think that I just clear forgot to buy them but I didnt! I would have bought them if it hadnt been for the old guy in the dairy cream cake aisle. IT'S ALL HIS FAULT! His and a songs fault. Infact...His, the songs and ASDA shopping stores fault. While walking around picking up things I needed, I noticed they were playing the song You Raise Me Up. I hate this song even on a good day. So imagine my horror when I reached the dairy cream aisle and was interupted by an old guy WHISTLING the song over and over. I couldn't think. I couldn't decide what I needed and the cat food thought left my head and wondered off on it's own. If it hadn't been for that old guy and his crap whistling of a crap song, then I would have remembered the cat biscuits. Now I have to make sure I dont walk about my apartment. Pyper is on the prowl and I'd like to keep my legs!

Monday, April 02, 2007

Always a bad word

Two words were evil to me...TRAFFIC WARDENS !

..but not anymore (for now anyway). My change of heart? Last sunday evening, while driving home from my mothers, I was annoyed to learn that I had a puncture. I kept my cool though because unlike some women, I know how to change a car tyre. My dad tought me when I was younger. Anywho...I got the stuff I needed out of the boot/trunk and then I was smacked in the face with a slipper. Kind of. I noticed that I didnt have a wrench to help get the bolts/nuts off. My smiles soon faded. After a few phonecalls someone came to help me but it turned out their wrench was too big. To cut the story a little...I had to leave my car overnight but it was parked in a permit zone. Now I'm starting to worry.

I called the police to ask for advice and was told I would have to call the council. 8:20am the next morning I was on the phone talking with the traffic warden department. They very kindly told me that the car would be cool where it was parked but only for one day. I wouldn't get a single parking ticket and they held their word. When I finally got back to the car, there was no parking tickets at all. So for now I'm cool with traffic wardens. I shall say no more bad words about them (until a chance passes by of them issuing me with a ticket)

Oh. I got the tyre changed, btw. Everything is cool!