Originally written on 24th October 2009

It's 3 days into my 2 weeks of Optifast. 12 days until my operation. I can't believe how quick the time has passed. I'm finding it easy during the day on the shakes, but after dinner is proving to be extremely difficult. I seem to be hungrier after dinner for some reason. It's probably not actually hunger, more like boredom, habit as well. I'd take Sandra's advice and sleep, but Dexter's on at 11pm and I can't miss that. So instead I'm watching Iron Chef. Glutton for punishment? Probably.

Today Dad wanted Red Rooster for lunch. Driving home with the smell of hot chicken and chips in the car nearly sent me insane. How am I gonna handle that? I'm hoping and praying that one day that smell revolts me as much as cigarette smoke does now that I've given up. I'm not as bad as I used to be with takeaway, I used to be really bad with stuff like KFC, but now I prefer to have a Subway. I just tend to eat too much. On the night before I started the Optifast, I made gnocchi for dinner and used pork belly in the sugo. My favourite. But as usual I ate too much. Way too much. It was bloody lovely though, I felt really full after, overfull actually. I don't get that feeling on the Optifast, which is probably a good thing. Apart from when my stomach starts growling. I hope it prepares me for when I have to go on the liquid diet.

I had a stupid thought last night. I was thinking about Christmas, specifically Christmas lunch at Sandra's. I know she'll put on a brilliant spread and I'm not going to be able to enjoy it. Especially my stuffing meatballs. My stupid thought was to ask the doc to postpone my op until after January. Just so I could pig out on Christmas day, and my birthday. But then I thought, that's one of my problems isn't it? Putting things off until later. So yep, I'll still enjoy Christmas, just with smaller portions.

Oh yeah, I forgot the most important thing. Weigh-in. 100kg exactly. I'm hoping to lose at least 30kg and if I get to that, I'll try for 40kg. I don't mind if it takes a year for me to get there. My goal is to be at least a size 12 for my 40th birthday. But I'm not going to overdo it. I'll keep things in perspective.