Monday, January 15, 2007

Dieting Under Stress

This diet was designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day, especially when you have to work.

1/2 grapefruit
1 slice of wholemeal toast, dry
1/2 glass skim milk

1 small lean chicken breast, grilled
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Tim Tam

Rest of the Tim Tams in the packet
2 litres of Rocky Road ice cream
1 jar hot chocolate fudge
Nuts, cherries, whipped cream

2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
Large pepperoni, mushroom and cheese pizza
4 cans or 1 large jug beer
3 Milky Way chocolate bars

Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake eaten straight from the freezer.

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a Diet Coke with a chocolate, the calories in the chocolate are cancelled out by the Diet Coke.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories do not count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee cheesecakes.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Jaffa's, Mars Bars, Smarties, etc.
7. Biscuit pieces have no calories, the process of breaking up the biscuit causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of making something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife while making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon.
9. Foods that have the same colour have the same calorie value. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate.

1 comment:

nenni said...

OMG. that was brilliant! I'll have to use those in the future :D