Monday, January 15, 2007

Brush up your English!

FUCK

Our most versatile word. By its stress and inflection it can describe many emotions. It can be used as a noun (I don't give a fuck), as an objective (It's fucked), as a verb in its transitive form (The game was fucked because of the weather), and in its intransitive form (Well, I'll be fucked), in the present tense (I'm fucked), in the past tense (I was fucked). Many everyday expressions show its true versatility.

DENIAL: I didn't fucking do it.
PERPLEXITY: I know fuck all about it.
APATHY: Who gives a fuck.
GREETINGS: How the fuck are you?
RESIGNATION: Oh fuck it.
DERISION: He fucks everything up.
SUSPICION: Who the fuck are you?
PANIC: Let's get the fuck out of here.
DIRECTIONS: Fuck off.
DISBELIEF: How the fuck did you do that?

The word has been used throughout history by many famous people. Some of the more notable quotations are:

What the fuck was that? The Mayor of Hiroshima
Look at all those fucking Indians. General Custer
Where's the fucking water coming from? Captain of the Titanic
That's not a real fucking gun. John Lennon
The fucking throttle's stuck. Donald Campbell
Who's going to fucking know? President Nixon
Heads are going to fucking roll. Ann Boelyn
Who let the fucking woman drive? Captain of the Space Shuttle
I thought I could smell fucking petrol. Nikki Lauda
Any fucker can understand that. Einstein
It fucking looks like her. Picasso
Where the fuck are we? Christopher Columbus
I'm forever blowing fucking Bubbles. Michael Jackson
How the fuck do you work that out? Pythagorus
You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling? Michaelangelo
Fuck a duck. Walt Disney
Why? Because it's fucking there. Sir Edmund Hilary
I don't suppose it's fucking raining...Joan of Arc
I haven't got a fucking clue. Miss Marple
Scattered showers, my fucking arse. Noah

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