Universal truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when
your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
9) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
10) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
11) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
12) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
13) Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
14) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
15) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
16) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
17) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
18) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
19) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
20) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
21) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
22) You never ever run out of salt.
23) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
24) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
25) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
26) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
27) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
28) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
29) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
30) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
31) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
32) Bricks are horrible to carry.
33) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
34) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting
it in a fruit salad.

For Pet Owners

PET RULES

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very
sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it
is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through
the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
--canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on
our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our
Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off thefurniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak
clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Real Life Documentaries

I know I'm getting old when I start liking documentary programs on TV but I have to say..some open my eyes to things I knew about but didn't really care about, and others have taught me new things (as most do, I suppose). With only having 5 channels to watch, my options are limited but Channel 4 has been keeping me going. Not only because of Big Brother and Gordon Ramsay's F Word but because of the docu's on every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.

Talking Point - Wednesday Nights 11:05pm
Tonight the docu is called I Love You. And You. And You. It's about Polyamory.

Polyamory refers to the practice of having a consensual, loving relationship that involves more than two people.

Only Human - Thursday Nights 9pm
This weeks docu is called Can't Stop Eating. It's about people who suffer from the rare genetic disorder called PWS.

Prader-Willi Syndrome (PWS). PWS is a rare genetic disorder which affects 2,000 people in the UK today. One of its key symptoms is that sufferers never feel full and cannot control their eating.

Cutting Edge - Monday Nights 9pm
Next weeks docu is called Wedding Days.

This heartfelt film reveals the very human stories of 20 couples, brought together in one moment of time, over a quarter of a century ago.

Last Monday's Cuttin Edge was about The Dead Body Squad.

Once a dead body has been found and removed by coroners, Matt and his team are called in to clean up what is left behind. An undiscovered body quickly begins to decompose and a suicide can leave a very gruesome aftermath, known in the trade as a 'body job'.

Last weeks Talking Point was about The Guy with 80 Wives.

Warren Jeffs, the leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints (FLDS), is on the FBI’s 10 most wanted list.

I love watching these documentaries. Anyone in the UK should take time out before/after Big Brother to watch these. You'll enjoy them and they'll really shock you!

2 hours now

This profile is undergoing routine maintenance. We apologize for the inconvenience!

That's what myspace has told me for the past 2 hours of me trying to get on my profile. I know everything went down with myspace and things fucked up a little but COME ON...2 hours is taking the hobnob. I've ran out of my usual haunts to visit. I wanted to get comments over and done with but noooooo....not gonna happen tonight by the looks of things. I might even jump on the "sue myspace" bandwagon by saying they caused uncalled for boredom due to their lack of respect towards a member. "I'm 'avin a thought here, Barbossa"...

update... court action shall be taken on my part!

Site will be down for maintenance from 2:00AM PST to around 4:00AM PST. July 24, 2006.

Post 240

..and it just so happens to be a bitch from me about my health.

Most people who know me can probably remember the hell I had to face around October time last year. The frantic calls to the 24 doctors because I couldn't breath, going to hospital to help control my breathing, being told I had Broncitis, having to start using inhalers...I could go on and on.
Today seems to be the start of all that crap again. I dunno if it's because I've caught a cold but I've got a killer cough, which then makes it hard to catch my breath afterwards. It's also got to the point where I feel like I'm choking while coughing. This is how things started last year and I'll be fucked if I'm going through that hell again!!

So, it's a call to the doctor tomorrow to get checked out. I'm making sure I don't suffer again! Need to go find my codeine pills too. Got a headache from hell because of the coughing. That's my bitch over. As you were

Joke of the Day

JELLYBEANS
A little kid was sitting on the top of a flight of stairs and his Mum
was watching him.
The kid had a bag of jellybeans. He put one in his mouth, ate it,
grabbed the cat and bit it.
Then dropped down to the next step, put another jelly bean in his
mouth, ate it, bit the cat again and dropped down to the next step.
His mum wondered what he was doing and went up and asked him.
"I'm playing truckies," said the kid. "Poppin pills, eating pussy and
movin'on."

Pyper

It had to be done. I had to post a pic of my beautiful cat, pyper.

She might be the horror of my life but she's a horror I couldnt live without. I mostly end up screaming at her but at the end of the day, she keeps me company at night. Her purring beside my head, while she massages her claws into her blanket, helps me drift off to sleep without a care in the world.

Scary..

My sunday mornings are taken up with watching repeats of Big Brother, Eastenders, Charmed and Lost. While waiting inbetween shows, I get a chance to read a sunday newspaper. Most likely the News of the World because the sunday magazine has my fav crossword (and yes...the trashy stories that can be printed inside. I can hear you brits thinking that!). Upon reading the News of the World today, I came across a story that somewhat shocked me and then got me interested in reading more about it.

The story? Suicide chatrooms. Now, before anyone reading this runs off to tell their little friends on msn that I'm 'thinking about killing myself', get your story straight. The news article was about a girl, in the UK, who hanged herself in her bedroom. These days that's seems to be pretty popular. I've noticed it more since my mum's bf hanged himself anyway. It seems that this girl liked to visit a chatroom and talked to users who encouraged others to kill themselves. They even gave them tips on what way would be best. They have their own code of talk too. "Bus ride" is a slang for ending your life, and it seems it doesnt just stop with people in the UK. Australia have set new laws because of these sites, Japan have done the same. They have the highest count of suicides... ISP providers can even face death in other countries and all because of these chatrooms. Sounds outrageous to type that but that was in the news article (which I cant find)

I know the internet can be used to find whatever it is you want these days but it's scary to think that people actually sit in those chats and give tips to others that ends up with them taking their lives. Ministers in the UK are being urged to take charge and stop people from gaining access to these sites. The families of victims have told how other countries have stopped them..but you have to ask yourselfs...is it really as simple as that? Anyone, anywhere can open a chatroom, add a java link and advertise it amoungst people they know. Would it be classed as fighting a losing battle? I know one thing for sure. If someone wants to find something on the internet, they wont give up till they do and they'll find other ways and means to get what they want.

You can read a couple of stories I found from the guardian, dailymail and the bbc. If anyone reading this is having any thoughts like I've mentioned or something else they dont think they can cope with, please call your nearest support group. Samaritans in the UK and Australia are very helpful.

New DP

Seeing as the blog is back in business...sort of...I decided to get back into posting my desktops.

Here is my brand new desktop wallpaper. Freshly picked not 10 minutes ago.

(only after spending 2 hours trying to find one good enough)
The other one I really liked has been resized and is now uploaded as my icon on myspace =)

Blogging Play

One of the reasons I decided to get this going again was because of something I watched on TV. In the mornings, in the UK, there's a show called This Morning. I'm never normally up to watch it but the past few days I have. Today, they had an interview with a guy who's written a play about situations people have blogged about. If you dont believe me, you can read about it here.

This guy has surfed UK blogs and come up with 10 characters for his play (5 actors playing double roles). One character is an agraphobic sex chatline operator.
The play, called Bloggers - Real Internet Diaries, premieres next month at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland and will be shown daily at 3.10pm, Smirnoff Underbelly, Edinburgh (3rd - 27th August). There's also a site about the play, which can be read here.

Makes me wonder if I had posted about some weird stuff, would my stories have been part of the play? lol Highly doubtful. I think I might even take a trip down to Edinburgh to go watch this play. It's a 3 hour journey and maybe it wouldnt be worth it, but you have to look at it like this...Maybe it would be worth it and even if it isnt, it's a day away from boring Aberdeen. I'm gonna look into this. What do you all think?

Back to the old days

I decided, and was backed by Luna, to remove the template we had. Now it's back to the old look, which I think is much better. And so does Luna =)
This look will stay for ages..unless something happens to it. Like before.

We've not posted on here for awhile. There's been the odd post here and there but nothing like before. Times are changing and after the break away, I've decided to get this ball rolling again. So stick with us while we get going again.

Potatoes...

I bought some potatoes today. I hear singing coming from my cupboard.

I'm back (but I dunno for how long)

I've been gone for over a week (if no one noticed lol) and although I'm back, the evil people who supply my phoneline (British Telecom) are going to end up cutting off my line anyday soon. I've been on high alert for about 3 weeks now, AND BEFORE ANYONE SAYS IT...I know. I should have paid my phonebill but money's tight and I'm too much of a chicken shit to ask my mum for the money.

What have I been up to? I had to stay at my mum's while she got her new kitchen fitted. That took 3 days and it's looking very nice indeed. I didnt much feel like coming home, so I stayed a little longer, sat in pj's for 5 days (I did change them!), and watched dvd's all day. Mostly my new Back to the Future box set! I then got an injury while helping look after my mum's horses. Was kicked on the leg and I'm in a lot of pain but I shall struggle through, as I normally do. I've missed this place and I'll be honest, I've let it slip a lot lately. We've got no page rank and very very few visitors. Need to work on that again but for now, I need to struggle out of my chair and go visit the little girls room.

Arrrrrrgh

Isn't it just my luck? I've got a bit of a cold, my head is pounding, my nose is stuffed, I generally feel like shit, all I want to do is lie down in peace and quiet....and the fucking next door neighbours are having a party. I probably wouldn't mind if they played some decent music. But it's some kind of latin crap that they're listening to. This is gonna go on alllllll night :|

Diaries of DaNi3L

I would Use Book of Daniel but that's already taken :P

Diaries well in other words I just want to update my buddies that care what i'm up to

right now I'm In Arkansas visiting family will be here till the 18th so won't be on much if at all But for now I'll be hanging around my old stomping grounds lmao anyways Things are going great in my life for a change my sports teams are flying high as well lol i'll be back to my normal movie reviews at a later date peace out

Happy Birthday Online Storm !!

On the 2nd of May, Online Storm will be a year old, and I have to say..I quite surprised. It's not often that I'll stick with one thing. I have this habit of forgetting about things I've started but I've stuck this out dispite all the headaches I've developed during my blog time. Problems of getting templates to work, getting colours just right, making sure everything is running ok. Pretty good for someone who knew nothing about HTML.

Something New !
Well, here you go. A new step for me, having a blog. Still no idea what I'll actually post here :s I'm taking it one day at a time.
Anyway, whoever reads this can post at will. Post to me, post to rant, post to eachother. Take your pick. Have fun !

Online Storm's very first post! Where did I get the idea for the blog name? I cheated a little. The storm part was taken from the IRC network we frequent on the condition that I advertise at the same time. Which I've done since day one! (/server irc.stormirc.net for anyone who doesnt know!) The online came from being online. Surprising, innit?

Not long after starting, I invited Luna to join me in posting. Best idea I had, if you ask me. Luna is a wonderful person and someone I'm glad I've met during my online time, even if we didnt get along at the start. Next to join was Michele, with her sideblog. She's another wonderful person that I'm glad posts/posted here. Michele has had to leave the t'internet for awhile and she's sadly missed! Then Daniel joined shortly after. I have to say..Daniel is someone who I never thought I would get on with but I'm glad that we do! Fancy a popcicle, Daniel? lol (old joke) Michele then left her sideblog in the sidelines and joined us here, and that's the story of Online Storm. A year in the making and still going strong(ish).

I would just like to say..Luna, Daniel and Michele, it's been a fucking pleasure posting with you this past year. The blog wouldnt be anything without you all here with me! I've enjoyed your posts, your comments and your suggestions and I hope it continues into the future! Much love for all your work!!! One thing I'm not forgetting..A big thank you to everyone who comes and reads our ramblings, makes comments and has us linked on their pages. One's I know of: Puddin' aka Anarchy, Shaney, AnGelNeWz, Sweet Thing, Rob (at times), all my friends offline and my cat..ahaha forget the cat part! There are probably more (from the visitor stats) but these are the people who either leave a comment or pass a comment to me when I visit them (if I've forgotten your name, that doesnt mean I dont thank you for coming. Much love to you all too!!!)

Anyway, I'm going to stop going on and on. Just one last thank you to everyone, and I hope things carry on for another year! Love you all!

Jen