bath time horror

I decided tonight to have a bath and to stay in it for about an hour! I got the water just right, got some candles burning and turned off the light. The beam of light from the livingroom and the candles suited me just fine. I did some girly things (shaving) and then climbed into the tub. The water was perfect and I was sure I would end up falling alseep.

I was lying there, thinking about being in a bathtub somewhere else, when out the corner of my eye, I spotted something moving. Now, as people who know me can verify..I hate creepy crawlies with a passion!!! It turns out that this moving thing on my bathroom wall was a spider. So now I'm laying there, scared to move incase this thing jumps on me and starts tearing at my flesh (I really hate spiders!) If this one spider wasnt enough to scare me, I spotted another one climbing down another wall (may I add that these walls are far away from the bath). So I start to do little girly scream sounds, which wakes up my puppy, Kip, who loves sleeping in the bathroom. He's now trying to jump up on the side of the bath to get to me, with his ears sticking up and trying to reach his head into the water. Then I had the idea of shouting on my cat, pyper, to come and eat said spiders. So I say her name and she comes to the bathroom door. I look at her and say "pyper, go eat the spiders!". She looks back at me, looks at kip, who's now standing with one foot on the side of the bath..staring at her..she meows at me, turns around and LEAVES! She left me in my hour of need!

By now I'm scared shitless at these HUGE spiders. They were fucking huge..the size of your palm..I swear on it! My now 'one hour bath' has turned into a '10 minute bath' because I'm now climbing out of the tub (very slowly) and reaching for my towel. Now, I'm by no means 'brave' but I reach for the toilet paper and start unrolling a lot of it. I catch one spider and throw the paper into the toilet. Now I have to catch the other but when I did, it kept moving. So now I'm standing in the middle of my bathroom, dancing about like Michael Flattley in the Lord Of The Dance, screaming like a little girl as I try to catch this spider. I finally did manage but then it STARTED TO CLIMB UP THE INSIDE OF THE TOILET TO GET TO ME. So I flush the toilet...IT STARTS TO CLIMB AGAIN, so I used about a whole bottle of toilet cleaner trying to kill it before I tried to flush it again. Both spiders are now gone but what a near death experience I had. I came out alive...maybe I wont next time!