Scottish Women

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmy had married a woman from Australia. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Scottish girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, fill the washing machine and call a landscaper.

Birthday + Halloween

Whoever says that growing old can be a good thing should be shot at point blank range. Seriously! Yesterday (27th Oct) was my 29th birthday and although I had a really good day...it means I'm one year older and one year closer to hitting the half way mark in my life. Sucks, I tell ya. Birthdays just aint the same like when you were a kid. I wish I had those days again. I mean who would really pass up the chance of living your childhood again? If you really think about it, and there was the option of knowing what you know now, you would do things a whole lot different. Just think of what you could achieve by making sure you paid better attention at school (like I wish), dating that guy/girl you lusted after...the list can be endless. I wish I had done things a whole lot different. Maybe I wouldn't be sitting here typing this out. I would have followed my dream and I would be a star in the West End, on the TV or on the big screen. Who really knows? I guess people will just say I'm feeling sorry for myself. You can make up your own mind about that.

On to the Halloween part. For my birthday I decided to treat my mum and I to a night out that could have ended in pure terror! We attended an evening of The Haunted Side of Fyvie Castle. Fyvie Castle is in Aberdeenshire and it is the most beautiful castle I have ever seen. Inside and out. Our evening began at 9pm with mulled wine and orange juice and a talk with the main tour guide of the Castle. Then it was downstairs for dinner of either chilli or vegetable stovies. Then we were moved to another room where a little mini play was performed for us and then it was back to the Dining Room for dessert.

We then split into groups of 17 and each group was taken around the Castle and told all about the history. When we reached "haunted" rooms we were told the different haunting stories. The main haunting that is spoken about is said to be that of Dame Lillias Drummond, wife of powerful Alexander Seton, the Earl of Dunfermline and Chancellor of Scotland. It's said that her husband locked her in the Gordon Bedroom after she failed to give him a son. He told her she wouldn't be allowed to leave that room until she gave birth to a son. She never granted his wish and she died in 1601. 9 months later Seton married his step niece, Grizel Leslie. On their wedding night, in what is now know as the Drummond Room, they were repeatedly disturbed by sighing and moaning coming from the window. In the morning, they found an inscription - Dame Lillias Drummond - facing outwards, distinctly carved with fine lettering into the outside of the window sill, some fifty feet above ground. The inscription is still there, and can be seen during a visit to the castle.

We were taken to the Gordon Bedroom and the guide was telling us a little about the history. She was about to take us into a small room just off from the bedroom when I heard a clink noise and at the same time my mum jumped and pointed. She had seen a large perfume bottle on the dressing table POP open. No one else has seen/heard anything and carried on walking to the other room. When the guide came out I asked her if that sort of thing happened and she said a couple of people had mentioned it before. She then picked up the perfume bottle and held it out for me to smell. There was a strong smell of rose perfume coming from it. She said there had been nothing in the bottle of YEARS. Some times it would have a smell and others it wouldnt. It's said that if there is a smell from the bottle that Dame Lillias was there.

Our tour carried on for a few more minutes and then everything had to come to an end. All in all it was a fucking brilliant night! and I plan on going back very soon before the season finishes. Just in the hope that the bottle top will pop open for us again. I hope you all have a nice Halloween night. Whatever your plans are. Happy Halloween from us all at Online Storm.