No hope !
These days I'm really starting to wonder why I want to go after things I want. Everything just comes back to bite me on the ass and it's seriously making me question why I've chosen these paths. The past few days I've been down about just about everything. Take today. It's come to my attention that my dream of being a good photographer might not be as reachable as I thought. When I was younger I could take killer photos. Everyone either wanted a copy of my pictures or couldnt stop talking about them. These days I'm lucky if I get one good photo out of all I've taken with my new camera. Is it me? Am I just not in the right frame of mind, or in the right mood to take good photos? Have I lost that edge I use to have? That ability to see what would make a good photo? or am I just moaning about it too much and I should slap myself, pick myself up and make damn sure I get back to how I once was?
To be honest, if the latter applies to me then that's going to be difficult. Short of someone coming and slapping me silly and telling me to "get a grip", I think I'm on the road of no return, or maybe it's just the time of year. Maybe it's just because of everything I've gone through this year so far. The thought of maybe not being able to have kids. The thought of not getting to be with a someone, even if just for a day, because it's not as easy as I thought to be near. Whatever the reason...it's killing me.