Originally written on 13th November 2009

Weigh-in. 94.5kg. Loss - 5.5kg

Friday the 13th! It's been a week since my op. I'm doing a lot better now than I have been. Saturday was fine, I spent most of the day resting but I kept getting up to walk around a bit. Mainly to stop the DVT but also to get rid of the gas from the op. The rest of the week has gone so quickly. I'm actually coping really well with the liquid diet. I found some really nice recipes on the banding forum Jo showed me a while ago. I've been having pureed baked beans mixed with tomato soup. Delicious! I put a bit of paprika, chilli powder and curry powder in it too, it ends up tasting like mexican salsa. I made a cauliflower, broccoli and brie soup last night too. It was okay, not as nice as the beans though. So this is my daily menu (roughly).
Meal 1. 175ml Sustagen hospital formula
Meal 2. Petit Miam made thin with milk OR pureed fruit with apple juice
Meal 3. Soup
Meal 4. Depends if I feel hungry, if I do I'll have some V-8 juice
Meal 5. Soup or egg-flip
Meal 6. Jarrah Choc-O-Lait (before bed)
Plus I'm trying to get as much water/diet cordial in as I can but sometimes it's hard to get a litre a day in. Oh well, I guess it'll improve as time goes by. I can't wait for the "mushies" fortnight, mashed potato and gravy here I come!

I'm not really missing any foods except pasta. I made Dad spinach pie on Tuesday. I could have quite happily murdered for a slice. I just had to keep reminding myself this liquid stage won't last long and I'll be able to eat relatively normally soon, albeit not all the fattening stuff I was eating before. At the moment they're not too worried about what I eat, as long as it can be pureed and thinned down enough so it can be eaten through a straw. Not that I actually eat it through a straw! But I'm not being silly about it. I'm getting in a fair bit of protein and only a small amount of fats and sugars. So I think I'm doing quite well, all things considered.

I'm still in a fair amount of pain in my back. Hot packs and morphine relieve it some of the time. It feels like something is stuck in there. Like I've swallowed a brick and it's stuck in the pipes. If it doesn't get better by Tuesday or Wednesday I'll ring Dr D and see what he says. The abdominal pain is nearly totally gone, so I can finally sleep on my left side. The only thing is, I've got a low grade infection in one of the cuts. Not to worry though, I went to the GP today and he's put me on antibiotics (liquid, yay!) and I'm putting Betadine ointment on 4 times a day. My stomach still resembles a Canadian sunset though. I've never seen so many different shades of bruising!

Well, I think it's time for another hot pack and a white hot choc. I really can't be arsed doing anything tonight so I think I'll just veg in front of the idiot box. HP-Goblet of Fire is on, or maybe I'll shove on a MH disc. Ciao!

Originally written on 7th November 2009

It's 7am, the morning after my surgery. I feel good, except for the pain between my shoulder blades apparently caused by "gas" (not farts!!!) and being really thirsty! Can't even have the tiniest sip of water until the x-rays come back with the all clear. Hopefully that won't be too long. The nurses are aiming for a 12-1pm discharge but they get so busy, bless 'em. It might be later than that.

My surgeon was great. He really put me at ease. Not bad looking, either! Haha! I felt sorry for the poor girls in recovery though, I'm not very nice when I come off the anaesthetic. I did apologise profusely though. Afterwards, thinking about it, I reminded myself acting the way Dad was when he was so sick in April. I guess I am his daughter after all!

I had to have one of those thingys on my finger to test my oxygen levels, not to mention the nasal prongs. At least they're better than the mask! I'm on a saline drip, that'll probably last until I go for the x-rays. Same with the TEDS stockings and the inflatable leg pump thingys that are supposed to stop blood clots. They're not so bad. Feels like a leg massage. I wish I could rip the plasters off and have a bloody good scratch!

The day nurse just came in. She'll change the dressings then take out the drip so I can have a shower. Woohoo! Things are starting to roll!

I've got two room mates. One is a British lady who seems nice but the poor thing can't seem to handle her medications. She's been sleeping a lot, I think they're giving her calmatives. The other lady is probably all of 18, she's sweet but she doesn't look like she needs the band. She's about half my size! Oh well, I don't know her or her situation so I can't comment or judge her.

God, Saturday morning TV sucks!

Gotta go, nursey's here. BBL!!!

Originally written on 24th October 2009

It's 3 days into my 2 weeks of Optifast. 12 days until my operation. I can't believe how quick the time has passed. I'm finding it easy during the day on the shakes, but after dinner is proving to be extremely difficult. I seem to be hungrier after dinner for some reason. It's probably not actually hunger, more like boredom, habit as well. I'd take Sandra's advice and sleep, but Dexter's on at 11pm and I can't miss that. So instead I'm watching Iron Chef. Glutton for punishment? Probably.

Today Dad wanted Red Rooster for lunch. Driving home with the smell of hot chicken and chips in the car nearly sent me insane. How am I gonna handle that? I'm hoping and praying that one day that smell revolts me as much as cigarette smoke does now that I've given up. I'm not as bad as I used to be with takeaway, I used to be really bad with stuff like KFC, but now I prefer to have a Subway. I just tend to eat too much. On the night before I started the Optifast, I made gnocchi for dinner and used pork belly in the sugo. My favourite. But as usual I ate too much. Way too much. It was bloody lovely though, I felt really full after, overfull actually. I don't get that feeling on the Optifast, which is probably a good thing. Apart from when my stomach starts growling. I hope it prepares me for when I have to go on the liquid diet.

I had a stupid thought last night. I was thinking about Christmas, specifically Christmas lunch at Sandra's. I know she'll put on a brilliant spread and I'm not going to be able to enjoy it. Especially my stuffing meatballs. My stupid thought was to ask the doc to postpone my op until after January. Just so I could pig out on Christmas day, and my birthday. But then I thought, that's one of my problems isn't it? Putting things off until later. So yep, I'll still enjoy Christmas, just with smaller portions.

Oh yeah, I forgot the most important thing. Weigh-in. 100kg exactly. I'm hoping to lose at least 30kg and if I get to that, I'll try for 40kg. I don't mind if it takes a year for me to get there. My goal is to be at least a size 12 for my 40th birthday. But I'm not going to overdo it. I'll keep things in perspective.

Just a test

I need to kick myself up the arse and make sure to put things I promise to the top of the list.

Hopefully the label for Luna's diary has worked and moved it to the top of the label list. Makes it's easier for those posts to be found.

A few words from me

I guess it's been awhile again. It's not that I mean to stay away. Just Tribal Wars and Facebook seem to be getting in the way. I need to make a stand and say NO to staying away. YES to more posting and OH HELL YES to Daniel being mean!

I guess I'll start off with telling people about myself again. The name is Jenni. I'm from Scotland and I'm not what I use to be. Sounds strange? Let me explain.

9 years ago, in November, my father passed away of Cancer. A year later it became clear to me that I was a shadow of my former self. I got into lots of trouble, I didn't care for myself much and it began to show. One way was in the form of self harming.

It's now 8 years later and I still struggle day to day but I'm getting better. Last week I went to a Red Dwarf convention. Couple of years ago I would never have been able to attend an event like this. Groups of people in rooms? NO WAY but I'm slowly getting better and I managed no problem.

You'll probably be asking my reason for telling people such personal things. It's to make people aware that individuals with a Mental Health problem CAN make it in the real world with a lot of work and positive thinking. I'm not saying it's always positive. Not at all. I'm struggling every day but there is hope in the horizon. Always speak to people. Make your feelings known and try and keep a smile on your face. It's not easy but it can be done.

ANYWAY, I'm going to stop typing now. Need to check my Tribal Wars to make sure I'm not being attacked by some 13 year old with balls bigger than melons because he thinks he's "hard" being in a successful tribe LOL

Take care and talk soon!

an Ode to the D Man

D, just a letter to some, but it's a letter that is the beginning of a Great name

that is my name of course, My ego needs boosting so I have to do that, anyways Mr. D here with a random message to all those nutcases in this world like me, Stay True, stay nutty, stay insane, as I always say. You have to be Insane to be Sane in this Insane World, my words no others. nenni has tried to kill this blog, But I shall make it thrive with my words of wisdom.

have a nice day.

How annoying

I'm in class again. Still can't look at anything interesting. No Bebo, Facebook, Twitter or Youtube. How am I suppose to fill in my time before finishing? I CAN'T LOOK AT ANYTHING.

Plus I can't Stumble with Firefox. They have gay I.E on these laptops. What I wouldn't give to have Firefox and my StumbleUpon button. Actually...what I wouldn't give to be able to Twitter or play FarmTown on Facebook. IT PASSES TIME. DON'T JUDGE ME!! Oh well. Finishing time!

Hello from the past..

Well, not really. It's just The nenni deciding to make posts on the blog again. I'VE BEEN GONE FOR AGES! Which is such a shame. Put so much time and effort into this blog and have since let it slip.

Well I shall try my best to get it going again. Boring stories shall start again.

Time to go. Class is over.

A Birthday Wish

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL!!!

Hope you've had a brilliant day and have many many many more to come!!

P.S You're still mean >=)

2 Tales

Well..if you would call them tales.

I said I would come back and post about my time away in Glasgow, and show pictures of a tour I was booked to attend. Well, disaster struck on Wednesday.

The powers that be decided to torture us with gale force winds in some parts of Scotland and it just so happened to be my town. We got on the bus on time but the winds kept blowing the bus door open while we were driving down the carriage way toward Dundee. What would normally take just about an hour took us about 2 hours, and upon reaching Dundee we were told the bus would need to be fixed. Skip ahead 10 minutes and we're being told we would have to wait until 11am for the next bus to Glasgow. Skip ahead again another 20 minutes and the bus to Glasgow hasn't arrived when it was suppose to (11am). After much rolling of eyes at the guy who wouldn't stop complaining about "Nah makin it hame in time ta ha muh dinner" the bus arrived (which was 20 minutes late)..

We're now on our way to Glasgow but then it dawned on me. We wouldn't make the tour time slot. We wouldn't have made it to Glasgow until after 12pm, and then we would have to check in, and then find the train station, and then find the train to Edinburgh..It just wouldn't have been possible. It's an hour on the train to Edinburgh from Glasgow and we needed to be at The Dungeons between 12.30pm - 3.15pm. There was no way we would make it. So we had to scrap that plan (and the £11.90 I had paid for the tour) until another time when we could come down for a longer stay. To top all this off I felt like complete shit from the bus journey and lack of sleep the night before because of the ass who lives above my flat.

Things ended a little better with a trip to TGI Friday's and their Mac and Cheese bites, and their Jack Daniels sauce on some nice pieces of chicken and then a trip to the local Cinema to watch I am Legend (review to come). I now had to dread the trip home on the bus. Which did make me feel like shit again for the next 2 days. Word of advice...DON'T TRAVEL WITH MEGABUS..Unless you really have to!

My second tale is about my neighbours. It wont be a long post because I had to miss some of the action but in short..Police busted down their door because of drugs. Lots of banging, shouting and swearing..excitement! but I had to leave to go up to my grans. She wouldn't wait. So as I said. I missed most of the action. Who knows..maybe she had an afternoon punter in there? (she is a hooker after all) It's just my luck to have to miss the rest of the excitement. When I came back a council guy was attaching a new door and there was one copper left standing talking to him. I'll have to keep an eye out for any gossip on what happened.

Another year

2008, huh? How's it going for everyone so far? Good? Excellent?
What's that? How's my year been so far? um...ok. I guess. Not earth shattering. Could be better.

I'm finding it just as hard to think of posts for this year as I did for last year. Which means there could be endless pointless posts. I seem to be good at those (like this one!)


OK. What to type about...I can't think of anything. Maybe because I'm too tired to think of anything. Yeah. That's probably it. So I'll end this and make a post later on in the week about my trip to Glasgow on Wednesday.

Anyway..Bye Bye

OH. I could leave you with a vid of me swearing to someone I know online. (just for something to post) Enjoy! EDIT: If anyone is going to look at the vid..don't click the play button in the center of the screen. Click the small one at the bottom. Thanks

A holiday message

Merry Christmas and all the best for 2008 from all at Online Storm!!

2008 will bring more blog posts. That I can promise! I hope everyone reading this has a great christmas day! :D

24 Season 7 Trailer

For anyone out there who loves 24 and hasnt seen the new trailer for seaosn 7, then here you go! I would just like to say OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!

Enjoy!!

Scottish Women

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmy had married a woman from Australia. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Scottish girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, fill the washing machine and call a landscaper.

Birthday + Halloween

Whoever says that growing old can be a good thing should be shot at point blank range. Seriously! Yesterday (27th Oct) was my 29th birthday and although I had a really good day...it means I'm one year older and one year closer to hitting the half way mark in my life. Sucks, I tell ya. Birthdays just aint the same like when you were a kid. I wish I had those days again. I mean who would really pass up the chance of living your childhood again? If you really think about it, and there was the option of knowing what you know now, you would do things a whole lot different. Just think of what you could achieve by making sure you paid better attention at school (like I wish), dating that guy/girl you lusted after...the list can be endless. I wish I had done things a whole lot different. Maybe I wouldn't be sitting here typing this out. I would have followed my dream and I would be a star in the West End, on the TV or on the big screen. Who really knows? I guess people will just say I'm feeling sorry for myself. You can make up your own mind about that.

On to the Halloween part. For my birthday I decided to treat my mum and I to a night out that could have ended in pure terror! We attended an evening of The Haunted Side of Fyvie Castle. Fyvie Castle is in Aberdeenshire and it is the most beautiful castle I have ever seen. Inside and out. Our evening began at 9pm with mulled wine and orange juice and a talk with the main tour guide of the Castle. Then it was downstairs for dinner of either chilli or vegetable stovies. Then we were moved to another room where a little mini play was performed for us and then it was back to the Dining Room for dessert.

We then split into groups of 17 and each group was taken around the Castle and told all about the history. When we reached "haunted" rooms we were told the different haunting stories. The main haunting that is spoken about is said to be that of Dame Lillias Drummond, wife of powerful Alexander Seton, the Earl of Dunfermline and Chancellor of Scotland. It's said that her husband locked her in the Gordon Bedroom after she failed to give him a son. He told her she wouldn't be allowed to leave that room until she gave birth to a son. She never granted his wish and she died in 1601. 9 months later Seton married his step niece, Grizel Leslie. On their wedding night, in what is now know as the Drummond Room, they were repeatedly disturbed by sighing and moaning coming from the window. In the morning, they found an inscription - Dame Lillias Drummond - facing outwards, distinctly carved with fine lettering into the outside of the window sill, some fifty feet above ground. The inscription is still there, and can be seen during a visit to the castle.

We were taken to the Gordon Bedroom and the guide was telling us a little about the history. She was about to take us into a small room just off from the bedroom when I heard a clink noise and at the same time my mum jumped and pointed. She had seen a large perfume bottle on the dressing table POP open. No one else has seen/heard anything and carried on walking to the other room. When the guide came out I asked her if that sort of thing happened and she said a couple of people had mentioned it before. She then picked up the perfume bottle and held it out for me to smell. There was a strong smell of rose perfume coming from it. She said there had been nothing in the bottle of YEARS. Some times it would have a smell and others it wouldnt. It's said that if there is a smell from the bottle that Dame Lillias was there.

Our tour carried on for a few more minutes and then everything had to come to an end. All in all it was a fucking brilliant night! and I plan on going back very soon before the season finishes. Just in the hope that the bottle top will pop open for us again. I hope you all have a nice Halloween night. Whatever your plans are. Happy Halloween from us all at Online Storm.

Movie Review - Run, Fatboy, Run

Director: David Schwimmer
Cast: Simon Pegg, Dylan Moran, Thandie Newton, Hank Azaria, Harish Patel
Plot: A chunky, clueless guy leaves his pregnant fiancée on their wedding day only to discover, 5 years later, that she is his one true love. But in order to win back her heart, he looks to finish his first marathon while making her realise her new man is the wrong guy for her.

I can sum this up in 2 words...FUCKING BRILLIANT!! I just got back from watching the advanced screening of this movie and it's already in my Top 10 movies ever. Run, Fatboy, Run is just plain brilliant. Full of laughs and yet serious moments..I just about spat out water on the couple in front of me because I needed to laugh so hard. My friend and I even cried with laughter at one scene. If a movie can make me do that, then it's well worth watching. Believe me. I take my hat off to David Schwimmer. His directing was brilliant. Simon Pegg's re-write = CLASS! Dylan and Simon shine as a comedy duo. I highly recommend watching this movie. It gets a 10/10 from me and I'm sure others will love it too.

Offical Run, Fatboy, Run site can be viewed here and you can view one of the trailers (my fav one) on this very blog...below. ENJOY!!